September 17, 2012

The Beautiful Wife Book and Journal GIVEAWAY


Earlier this year I shared a review with my readers of a really great book for married women called The Beautiful Wife.  I learned much and appreciated the wisdom and candor of author Sandy Ralya.  I was thrilled when Kregel Publishers wanted to offer one of my readers The Beautiful Wife BOOK and JOURNAL!  Before I share the details of the giveaway, consider reading my thoughts on the book and enjoy a little interview with Sandy.

(My questions are in the burgundy text and Sandy's answers follow.)


Annette: The Beautiful Wife speaks to women who are in a rocky marriage or a good marriage.  What are some of the mistakes wives make after they are married and how can they change?
Sandy: 
  • When a woman daily comes into contact with her husband's flaws and weaknesses, she mistakenly believes it's her job to change him. We take on the role of "personal Holy Spirit" in an attempt to help him be the best man he can be.  IT DOESN'T WORK! The best form of husband behavior modification a wife possesses is prayer--for herself and her husband.  Find verses that describe qualities you'd like to see in your husband and turn them into prayers (I explain how to do this in The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal).  God honors His Word so there is great power in praying scripture-based prayers. When you pray that you'll become more like God, you'll change and when you change, it creates power in the relationship and is a catalyst for change in your husband. 
  • Often a woman will begin to take her husband for granted as the marriage progresses.  Men need to be appreciated! They need someone who will encourage them and tell them they're doing a good job! Notice the positive things he does and call them out. He will gravitate toward the one who thinks highly of him.  Let it be you.
  • Women that fail to care for themselves physically send an unintended message to their husbands: "I know this is important to you but I just don't care." This hurts a husband, especially if it affects her desire to do things with him. Get out of your sweat pants, put on a touch of make-up, move your body and eat healthier foods. It's important to your husband!

Within the book, you spoke of the first eleven years of your marriage and the trouble that have been overcome.  Sometimes it seems like everyone else has a "happy" marriage.  How were you and your husband able to step out and seek help? 
I finally exposed the rotten areas in my marriage when I knew I could trust some of the godly women in my life.  When I came clean about the reality of my messy marriage, they didn't act shocked (something I feared). Instead, they listened and helped me apply Scriptural principles to my marriage in a practical way. My mentors were also the ones who encouraged me to see a Christian counselor for some of the deeper issues I faced. I'm so glad they did! My husband, who was emotionally, verbally, and spiritually abusive didn't seek help until I exerted the power of tough love. I go into detail about our marriage testimony when I speak to groups on the topic: Speaking Truth in Love. Tom often joins me. It's a powerful presentation and representation of God's redeeming power!  

Ralya, Sandy-hi res.jpgYour book was the first to speak to me about the importance of communicating hurt (verses silence and expecting him to understand why you feel hurt).  Please share with the readers a bit about this.
I'll start by sharing an email I received entitled Guys Rules.
Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Men are not wired to pick up on hints and innuendo. When a woman who's been hurt by something her husband has or has not done, she'll often pout and go silent. Other personalities erupt in anger. Neither of these responses is effective for communicating hurt. Instead, use the Guys Rules for communicating. Just say it!  That said, I'm not suggesting women communicate every little thing that bothers them. If you regularly use your influence to spotlight annoyances, you'll have little influence left for the important things.  Take the annoyances to God in prayer.

As women read The Beautiful Wife, what do you hope they will learn? 

  1. Turning to God and really trusting Him with your life is the first and most important step in becoming a Beautiful Wife. Our beauty is perfected and pronounced in His presence.  The most powerful tool I've found for trusting God is thanksgiving. A woman can know with her head that God is trustworthy, but still alternate between trust and fear. Praise and thanksgiving to God plants me in the place of trust.
  2. Only by focusing on your role within marriage, can real change occur (you'll need mentors to encourage you because this is tough!). Trying to change your husband leads to frustration and a lack of intimacy.
  3. Godly mentoring is a biblical principle that will protect and strengthen your marriage. Mentors aren't perfect, but their love and experiences will encourage and comfort you.
Will you be writing any other books or is your focus the Beautiful Womanhood ministry?
I am currently in process of co-authoring my next book entitled The Beautiful Single. I'm convinced that this book will succeed in preparing women for marriage in ways that traditional pre-marriage counseling falls short. In The Beautiful Single, we'll sort through and look at the events that have shaped a woman's life and examine how they might impact her marriage. We'll also include specific instructions about how to pray for the man who will be your husband. A woman who prepares more for her marriage than her wedding will reap happiness and fulfillment for years to come. This book is for the woman who wants to grow a strong marriage before the wedding day.
The Beautiful Womanhood ministry is currently launching a campaign to reduce divorce within churches where Beautiful Womanhood small groups are held. 

On my blog and Facebook, I provide a steady feast of encouragement and instruction for wives and a place where they can build community with other women.

Mentors are my specific focus right now. With training, a woman can become a great mentor--it's not difficult. With this purpose in mind, I've launched the Beautiful Womanhood Mentor Training Seminar. Trained Mentors=Stronger Groups=Healthier Marriages--and that's my passion!

Thank you, Sandy, for encouraging us in our marriages!

SALE!
I do think this book is worth owning!  Now until Septemebr 21st, you can purchase The Beautiful Wife Kindle edition for $5.
GIVEAWAY! Giveaway is now closed.  #6, Carrie is the winner!
One reader will win The Beautiful Wife and The Beautiful Wife Journal!  Please leave a comment below to enter.  Be sure I have a way to contact you!  I will email the winner.

Extra Entries- Leave a separate comment for each additional entry.  If you are following under a different name, please be sure to let me know your "other" name in the comments.
~ Read my original review and let me know what strikes you. (1 comment/entry)
~ Follow TSH through Google Friends Connect. (1 comment/entry)
~ Subscribe to TSH through the RSS feed or email. (1 comment/entry)
~ Follow TSH with Facebook and/or Twitter.  (1 comment/entry)

Giveaway will run through Thursday, September 20, 2012, and Kregel will mail this ANYWHERE! Giveaway is for ages 18 and over.  Random.org will choose the winner.  The winner will be announced on this post and will be emailed.  The winner will have 48 hours to contact me, or I will choose another winner.  


So if you don't hear from me early on September 21, buy your own copy!

Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post; I am excited to share this book with a reader since I value it so much myself!
~ Annette {This Simple Mom}

12 comments:

  1. I would love this book to read for myself and to share with others...it seems marriages are under attack all around us. yet God designed this amazing connection with another person- something to be treasured! Thank you for the giveaway
    Jen N
    artandjen at juno dot com

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  2. I read the original post (again). I was struck with the great reminder that prayer is a great defense against nagging and grumbling. Pray, pray. pray~
    thanks!
    Jen N
    artandjen at juno dot com

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  3. I am currently reading this book and it was help me so much I would love to win a copy & share with a friend It is well written and and easy read
    Jocelia2@yahoo.com

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  4. That was refreshing!! Reminding me often that prayer really does changes things. Especially the trust part.!! I take that in and am grateful that I can trust God with all of my insecurities and shortcomings. Im equally encouraged and inspired by the daily reminders of what to do and where to look for answers. Thank you!!
    Jlawson315@gmail.com

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  5. Um, yes please. I would like to win. That's my not-so-subtle hint. ;)

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  6. And I follow you on Facebook! :)

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  7. I was blessed to see Sandy speak this past weekend at a womens marriage retreat. She is so absolutely, beautifully, honestly, lovingly truthful about what it takes to make a marriage work. I would love to win these :)

    jenej@sbcglobal.net

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  8. I discovered BW earlier this year and Oh how it has blessed me to become a better wife. Would love the set to go deeper in HIM! crimsondiva1999@yahoo.com

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  9. I also would have never learned about TSH if it wasn't for the FB link to this contest on BW.
    I have now officially "liked" TSH and will be following on the website & FB. I love positive sites! crimsondiva1999@yahoo.com

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment!