July 16, 2012

The Beautiful Wife by Sandy Ralya

Though I have read plenty of books pertaining to women, it doesn't seem that there are bountiful books for women who seek to be a godly wife.  Or maybe I just haven't looked hard enough.  I'm not sure.  When I saw Bluerose's Heart review The Beautiful Wife, I knew I wanted to read it, too.

What I do know is that many women find themselves unhappy in marriage.  It is easy to be unhappy when you compare yourself and your marriage to what you think others have.  Too often, we're just not honest with the work we put into our marriages or the struggles that we face.  Let's face it: Marriage is wonderful, and it takes work.  Stress builds easily in a marriage from so many factors.  (It wasn't until I was married and then had children that I realized how short-tempered and selfish I can be.)

If you are a married women, whether your struggles abound or are few, I really do recommend this book for marriage enrichment.  Some of it was review for me while other bits were new.  The Beautiful Wife is about being attractive to our husbands-inwardly.

I was incredibly impressed with Sandy Ralya's book The Beautiful Wife.  She is not preachy.  She is honest and candid and has overcome plenty of problems in her own marriage.  She also shares some areas where the struggle continues.  The Beautiful Wife is full of practical ways for women to be a better wife to their husband.  Prayer and communication are focused upon throughout as the most practical advice with many references to Scripture.

Below are a "few" passages from the book that I want to remember, written in my own words.  Consider them "Notes to Self."
  • Your own happiness and fulfillment are dependent upon whether or not you seek God in all of the circumstances I face.  
  • In a prayer journal, include a list of verses just for your husband.  Look for truths you desire to see manifested in his life.
  • Prayer is always more effective than arguing or nagging...and it brings him good, not harm.
  • When discussing marriage in a community of women, focus on sharing your own weaknesses and issues instead of your husband's.  When talking about him, be as vague as possible.  I have found it is important to consider how he would feel if he were to hear what I am saying since my husband is also rather private.  Consider Proverbs 15:28, 17:22, and 11:13.
  • When you are tired and worn out, you are more likely to respond poorly to any conflict.  Caring for yourself provides benefits for you and your spouse/family.
  • "The husband of a confident woman is blessed!  He can relax in her presence rather than work overtime to reassure her of her worth." ~ p. 71
  • Just because it is easier to be critical and dissatisfied does not mean we should give in to it.  Here is where I reminded myself that I need to purposefully choose gratitude and thanksgiving every day.
  • Not all things a husband does is sin.  Sometimes we are just annoyed.  Just because I am annoyed does not mean he is sinning.
  • Always remember that you cannot change him, only yourself.
  • Before we can love others, we must first love God and receive his love.
  • Silence does not signal to the husband that we hurt...silence is not communication.  Before healing can take place, we must communicate our hurt.
  • When we covet what others have we are overlooking God's provision.
  • James 3:5 Remember that attitude (and what is said and how it is said!) is everything!
I was a couple chapters into The Beautiful Wife when I realized that I really wanted to slow down and savor it.  It was recommend to journal...something I usually just skip, though I do think over the discussion questions when a book provides them.  Each chapter has Reflection/discussion questions as well as First Steps, which are personal prompts with verses and inspiration for journaling.  Well, I intend to reread this and journal through it slowly.  I opted to complete the book in a timely manner since it was provided for review knowing that rereading it would be beneficial.  (FYI, there is a The Beautiful Wife Prayer Journal and Mentor's Guide.)

This book can be read by individuals, but it is also one to use with a mentor or group setting if that is something you have available to you.  It would also be a great gift for an engaged or newly-married woman of any age.  

Thank you, Kregel Publications for providing The Beautiful Wife for review purposes!  I know it has the potential to change many lives! 

~ Annette {This Simple Mom}

3 comments:

  1. I'm glad you liked it! I really need to make time and read it again.

    I agree that this one is definitely a "read slow and savour" kind of book.

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  2. I'm pinning this on my "books to read board," and am going to come and read your notes in more detail later when my brain's not feeling fried.......

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  3. It does sound like it would be really promising with great things to think about. And two positive reviews from two bloggers I like and trust?! Well, now . . .

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