September 20, 2012

Kitchen Bloopers

For those of you who need a laugh...or encouragement in the kitchen, this post is for you.  It was inspired after I filled the house with smoke.

I should probably ask my husband to write this post.  Really.  We have to just laugh at what I have done in the kitchen.  Actually, he may shake his head at me more than laugh.  Probably the only thing I have not done is cut myself enough to need stitches.

~ Hot stove tops are not my friend.
  • I have ruined (burned!) many potholders by allowing them to touch a hot burner.  This was more prevalent when I had the electric stove top with coil-style burners.  The ceramic top electric stove is a bit less dangerous.  (I even burned my potholders that my aunt made for me.  Sorry, Aunt Janice.  They were cute!  At least you know I was using them!)
  • I have also melted a couple of plastic items.  One of my Pyrex lids only melted a tad bit and is still usable.  Not all have fared so well.  Melted plastic is nasty to remove from items.
~ I say "Ow" and "Ouch" much too often in the kitchen.  My husband likely tunes those words out now.

~ Rising agents are important.
  • Have you ever made a loaf of bread without yeast?  Me neither.  (I wish!!)  Okay, I have a time or two...probably not more than three times.
  • I once saw a recipe for Irish soda bread.  I was all excited to make a quick bread without yeast.  When it was done, it could only be called Irish rock bread.  I forgot the baking soda.
~ Brown sugar is crucial in apple crisp.
  • Once I forgot to put brown sugar in my apple crisp.  It was like nasty cardboard.
  • I wish I could say this only happened once.   Seriously!
  • I wish I could say this did not happen with company.
~ Blueberry Delight needs blueberries. 
  • I was making Blueberry Delight, and we were expecting company.  The doorbell rang.  Greeted the guests.  Put the batter in the pan and topped it with the crumb mixture.  Put the pan in the oven.
  • The blueberries were  forgotten, though they were rinsed and ready in the sink. 
  • It was okay and edible, but not great.
~ Though I am a former elementary teacher, sometimes I can't count.
  • Counting out multiple cups of flour for a recipe like bread or pizza sometimes doesn't work, especially when I need to count over four.  I tend to add an extra cup and then have to toss the dough.  Thankfully this only happens a couple times a year.  Do you think I can blame small children for this?  Thanks!  They are only sometimes out of sight when it happens.
~ Even non-bakers likely know the importance of salt in pie crust.
  • I am happy to say I have only forgotten it once in my pat-in-the-pan pie crust.  Thankfully the Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie is sweet enough that the pie was still edible, though no one ate more of the crust than they had to.  
  • Oh, and that first time I made the Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie the directions said to put in 2 sticks of butter.  Instead...I put in two cups.  I now have cut back the butter to just 1/2 cup (1 stick), which is less than the original recipe.
So if you ever feel like a klutz in the kitchen, just remember me.  You are not alone.   I really need to focus more in the kitchen, but that is the way it goes...

How about you?  Do you have a favorite kitchen blooper?

~ Annette {This Simple Mom}

9 comments:

  1. When I was a teenager I tried making corn chowder. The recipe called for a 1/2 cup of chopped celery. We didn't have any so I substituted celery seed. A 1/2 cup of celery seed. The chowder tasted horrible! :)

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  2. I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one who struggles with "Oopsies" like this.

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  3. Good to have a laugh this morning. I turned on the wrong burner once and my son came in screaming the stove was on fire. I set my favorite can opener on fire.

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  4. You're so funny. :) I have cut myself with a knife a lot but maybe not as much anymore since I've wised up. Recently oil started smoking in the stove. I threw water on it, obviously not what you are supposed to do. My kids were pretty impressed with the flames that shot up.

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  5. So funny! I'm glad I'm not alone. I have the hardest time with the eyes on the left side of my stove. I always turn on the wrong one, and I've lost lots of Tupperware that way. If it wasn't so expensive, it'd be best for my family for us to just hire a cook.

    Just remember that you aren't alone, either! ;)

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  6. Oh, I have so many. And I was a Home Ec. Ed. major! I've wondered if any of my teachers ever did these things.

    I could not make gravy to save my life for years, though I can now. Once it was coming out ok as far as thickness, but it was very pale. I thought I had heard that red and green make brown, so I put a few drops of red and green food coloring in -- and it turned an awful shade of green and wouldn't turn brown no matter how much red I added. I couldn't eat it. Thankfully it made me laugh instead of cry.

    Another time I was making teriyaki. One of the last steps was added a little cornstarch to thicken the sauce, but I grabbed baking soda instead, and it foamed over like those homemade volcano experiments. I thought it would NEVER stop foaming. It finally stopped and I thought I could salvage it, but it was so salty that we gulped down all kinds of liquids to try to dilute it in our systems. The sad thing is, I haven't been able to make it since then because even when I make it right, it still tastes reminds everyone of the ruined version and they don't want it.

    Another time was when I tried to make birthday cupcakes that looked like Muppets but instead looked like baby swamp monsters because I couldn't get the icing right: http://barbarah.wordpress.com/2006/11/06/cakes-are-my-culinary-waterloo/ And of course we did invite company over for that one...

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  7. Once (with company!) I decided to use up some extremely organic and therefore-made-out-of-who-knows-what noodles which congealed around the chicken in a way that made you uncertain whether you were going to be biting into a noodle blog or a piece of chicken. It was AWFUL! I actually pulled something else out of the pantry and served it instead.

    Awful, awful.

    I'm laughing over Barbara's green gravy!!!

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  8. It's pretty rare that I mess up in the kitchen but when I do, it's bad.

    I always add carrots to chicken paprikash and once, i'm not even sure how i did it but I added wayy too much and it tasted like carrot paprikash. it was disgusting.

    I never burn the food but I do manage to burn myself. I stuck a cast iron pan under the broiler once and almost burnt the food. In the rush to get it out before anything burned I forgot the oven mitt and pulled it out with a bare hand. That one hurt. The food was perfect but it sure wasn't worth it.

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  9. I burn the tops of my arms all the time when pulling stuff out of the oven. You'd think I'd learn. . .

    I enjoyed reading your bloopers! :-)

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